Relationship With Adult Children

Lately I’ve been thinking about our relationship with our adult children and what new challenges we mothers have if our children feel safe enough to tell us what was difficult about our mothering. We may know our children need to separate from us and use the teen years or young adulthood to step into adulthood as a man or woman. And we may know that they do this, not necessarily by distance, but by speaking freely to us about our relationship with them. Continue reading “Relationship With Adult Children” »

Dialogue in Memoir: An Element of Fiction

Most who write memoir have an important story to tell of surviving hardship or letting us go on an amazing adventure with them into new worlds of some kind. We know that the best memoirs come to life on the page because the author uses elements of fiction, such as dialogue.  At the same time, a memoir writer wants to be honest and write what only happened. No stories of abuse that didn’t happen and no mountain not climbed. However, to use dialogue is a tricky venture. Continue reading “Dialogue in Memoir: An Element of Fiction” »

Communicating With Your Inner Child

Part of the process of healing beyond thinking but involving your emotions and body is to begin to have a “sense”, a “feeling”, even a picture of your inner child. (Use photographs if you can to remember how s/he felt.)

This inner child process is when your writing skill is not important. What we are looking for is the connection between your adult self now and the youngster you once were. Continue reading “Communicating With Your Inner Child” »

Writing Your Experiences in Poetry- Beyond the Substance/The Craft

When I edit poetry for publication, I read to see that these elements are strong.

1. Fresh Language–no common phrases/language used as jargon

2. Show, don’t tell –Don’t teach, preach or explain but show us through imagery. “A picture worth a thousand words. Continue reading “Writing Your Experiences in Poetry- Beyond the Substance/The Craft” »

Deciding If to Edit Memoir

A memoir just came across my desk that has an interesting discussion of gender. The s/he or girl as boy et al.  I found it interesting. Really wonderful poetic language. S/he, an author with a book for a prize I once judged so she has a good, beginning platform. In the end, I didn’t feel it had substance enough and couldn’t decide why since I so much liked what she was exploring. Continue reading “Deciding If to Edit Memoir” »

Counseling and Memoir Writing

Just a note to mention that the more you know yourself and your “psychology”, the better able you will be to write your memoir in a realistic fashion. To understand your instinct (for survival) and how that plays out in you and what you first feel emotionally after that helps make your crisis and or disaster seem more realistic. You see, even though it is real to you, you are telling us on a flat plane of words and paper. It’s up to your writing to make it seem real. Continue reading “Counseling and Memoir Writing” »

Mindfulness and Hypnotherapy (Hypnosis)

A close study of the two methods of using the mind to relax are different but they share fundamental similarities of purpose. And both are processes to help the self function better in this fast- paced world of ours. One requires emptying the mind, the other filling the mind. Do whichever is easier for you. No one method is better than the other and both set you free from anxiety. Continue reading “Mindfulness and Hypnotherapy (Hypnosis)” »

Memoir: The Scene: Write Better

Your reader is reading your book because the title draws them in. You provide your reader with a powerful emotional experience and great facts as the story develops. If you’re writing a romance, you must create in your reader the illusion that she is falling in love herself. If you’re writing a thriller, you must create in your reader the illusion that he is in mortal danger and has only the tiniest chance of saving his life (and all of humanity). If you’re writing a fantasy, you must create in your reader the illusion that she is actually in another world where all is different and wonderful and magical. If you are writing a memoir, the abuse and triumph is happening to your reader. Continue reading “Memoir: The Scene: Write Better” »

Blame in Relationships

It is always easy to blame others for our problems.That’s often what hurts us and our relationships the most. When you feel yourself blaming others, why not turn that blaming finger back on yourself and see your part in the concern. All you can do is change yourself. Sometimes by doing that, others may chose to change.

When I stopped treating my grown niece as the young child I knew, she lived up to my expectation of acting as an adult. Even though I was the one safe enough to get mad at, I wanted a deeper relationship. Continue reading “Blame in Relationships” »

Counseling for Change-of-Life Crisis

Some information from a counselor in private practice for 24 years and ideas to solve any concerns.

Confused about self what you want to do? Wondering about partnership or wanting a partnership? Prefer to be alone? Drinking too much? Feel like running away and starting life afresh?  Stage-of life crisis?

This could be a function of aging and wanting more out of your life. Turn this time into positive growth, instead of a resentful, unhappy time. Just to know that this could be a normal process of maturity may be helpful. It’s just a time to re-evaluate and decide what you want to do next. Continue reading “Counseling for Change-of-Life Crisis” »