Communicating With Your Inner Child

Part of the process of healing beyond thinking but involving your emotions and body is to begin to have a “sense”, a “feeling”, even a picture of your inner child. (Use photographs if you can to remember how s/he felt.)

This inner child process is when your writing skill is not important. What we are looking for is the connection between your adult self now and the youngster you once were.

We are all born dependent and, in same ways, victimized. Some children more than others, of course. It is the acknowledgment of the defenseless child who needs help from the independent adult that allows healing in a lasting way.

I had a client recently say she hated her inner child and I knew what she meant is that she couldn’t forgive herself for being so effected by what happened years ago. I understand that desire not to be pulled back into the pain of what happened so many years ago. However, we can not wish trauma away. We can’t cut it out of us or ignore it forever unless we want to stay limited. To stay limited is to be triggered in present day by past reminders.

If you are not working with a therapist, please  do so. If you are working with a therapist, please tell her what you are attempting to do. You want a safe person to whom you tell what comes up.

Write a letter to your inner child and ask her to tell you in her own words what happened. Tell her how “safe” you will be with her feelings. Let her tell you how it was. Take one incident at a time so you do not get overwhelmed. Sometimes writing with your non-dominant hand helps to free the child to say what she feels.

Keep your writing large, upper and lower-case. Don’t worry about neatness. Don’t edit. Let the child take the time they need. The child may need to be coaxed. Tell the child you have the time she needs and return to this often and with love.

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